Michael

The story:

At the end of September, Keith received a phone call from our friend in Oklahoma, Michael Halsey. Our first encounter with Mike had been at a cub scout pack meeting. His son Jared was there and was throwing spit wads at people. We had never met Jared. Keith walked up to Jared and started really give him a piece of his mind. I remember he told Jared to go and pick up all the spit-wads he had been throwing. Mike Halsey, Jared's Dad, came up to Keith with a vengeance and said, "He's got problems, OK?" Keith said, "it doesn't look like he has problems to me."
It turns out that Jared has multiple problems. He has turrets among many other problems. The first encounter with the Halsey's was a heated one. Fortunately, it didn't take long for us to respect each other. Micajah became quite an advocate for Jared at church. They are the same age. Jared would sometimes listen to Micajah when he wouldn't listen to anyone else. Micajah was amazing with Jared. That same year as the pack meeting, Micajah had the idea that we do the 12 days of Christmas for the Halsey family. The Halsey's have 3 children, all adopted because they were never able to have children on their own. The oldest is Ashley, then Jared and their youngest child is Michael (like the Dad).

The rest of the time we lived in Oklahoma, our associations with them were typical associations of ward friends. Little Michael is David's age, so he came over to play once in a while. I was the scout leader for Michael and David when they were wolves. I always liked Michael and he liked me. He loved talking anesthetic agents with Keith because he loves trying to understand complicated things.

Because of my calling as Relief Society Presdient during our last year in OK, I became privy to information that I may have otherwise never known. Little Michael had been adopted when he was 3 years old. His birth mother's parents had tried to take care of him after he was born but it became too much for them so another lady, Wendy, adopted him and raised him until he was 3. When her husband died, she wanted Michael to be raised in a family with a mother and father. The Halsey's adopted him when he was 3. He never bonded with Debbie Halsey. Their relationship was a struggle from day 1.

So, back to current day, Mike Halsey called Keith one night and explained that now that Michael is getting older and closer to the teenager years, the relationship is getting worse and worse and a change was needed. He asked us if we would take Michael. Our initial reaction was one without hesitation. Of course I would take him. I've always wanted to "rescue" a child. Love a child who hadn't been shown love. For the next week we labored a little more furiously with the decision. One minute it would be "yes, of course" the next "NO WAY."
There were too many unanswered questions. Too many uncertainties. Too many fears. We were told he has an attachment disorder. So we read up on that...not necessarily a good idea. The literature we read portrayed the worst possible scenarios of children with attachment disorder. I was terrified.
After wrestling with the decision we finally decided to just do it. It just so happened that Keith would be going to Oklahoma anyway for a conference held the first weekend of October. While he was down there, he picked Michael up, along with a few of his things and brought him back here.

That was a difficult trip. Michael was dealing with a whole range of emotions. He has been here now for 7 weeks and it has been difficult. Some days have been much harder than others. Some days seem quite easy. But we still have a long way to go.
Mostly, he is so happy to be here because life with 4 boys and constant motion and we live right next to some incredible trails that they love to ride their bikes along. His life here, compared to his life there is so much better, so he's quite happy. It's the rest of us who are having to change, adjust, put our comforts aside. Keith explained it well the other day. He said that before Michael came we (all of us) were running along on the same frequency. Along comes Michael who is running on a different frequency. We are trying to get tuned in again and it's hard. He's not used to us, the way we do things, the unsaid but understood that go on in a family who have just always been together.

David has the hardest road of all. He is with Michael 24/7 and no one can fully appreciate exactly what that means or how hard that actually is on him.

So, because of lack of time, I'll wrap this up quicker than I wanted.
We went from 4 boys to 5 boys, just like that. I have been shown things about myself, especially weaknesses that I never realized I had. That is both painful and empowering. It's not easy to see yourself opened up like that. Crack me wide opened!! At the same time, how could I ever grow? How else could my rough places be made smooth?

There is more to tell, but no more time. Tomorrow is the day before Thanksgiving. Cameron and Alice arrive tomorrow and all 5 boys and I are going to get up and clean like MAD - attempting to get the house in order. Karl and Kiersten will arrive on Thursday and we will enjoy Thanksgiving with their 2 families. The weather has been phenomenal!!